GOSPEL BY SHEALITA [SATIRE]

By Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com].

I have missed you ever so much. I want to take this time to thank every one of you out there who love, adore and worship me. I want to thank you for the love and support you have all given me while I was wrongfully imprisoned by those Damn Dirty Apes!

You see, me and a few of my Red Hat Auxiliary Church friends decided to go down to Haiti and take a few children off their hands, ya know to lighten the burden, but apparently they cherish them as much as they do their bananas! How dare they tell me that its illegal to abduct a child who isn’t even a good God-loving American citizen!?

I’m a White Woman, I have the ultimate golden ticket to do and say whatever the heck I wanna say. That Golden Ticket just happens to be this pure white alabaster porcelain skin, given to me by King Jesus.

Continue reading "Shealita Babay is back with a vengance!" »

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SISTER SHEALITA'S GOSPEL

By Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com].

I love Religion with all my heart.

Praising the Lord is the most beautiful and tranquil path of life, a path that more people ought be following. To me, religion is logical and it bestows upon us the most accurate depiction of what is good and what is evil. It is a Life how-to-guide and educates us (moral people) on praising our lord, King Jesus, in the most righteous and culturally embracing ways.

Hallelujah!

Continue reading "Shealita Babay: The True Meaning of Religion" »

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ADVENTURES IN CLUBLAND

by King Ralphy

For a little bit over a year now I have been working in the nightlife industry. I'm often asked how I got so far, so fast; and while I'd like to say its a lot of hard work - my first adventure will explain how King Ralphy really came to be.

My strategy... I didn't have one.  I got a job working in the marketing department at a straight nightclub despite the fact that I studied fashion marketing, but a kid's gotta eat - ya know? 

What I didn't, however, expect was the adventure ahead.  Up to that point, I had never really gone to any gay clubs.  For me, I went out for dance music and that generally meant just underground raves.

When I found out that my new nightclub marketing gig also included working with the insanely popular "Hot Mess" party, I cringed a little in the beginning but quickly fell in love.  Before I knew it, "Hot Mess" crumbled.  It might sound like bad news, but I got a great new gig hosting an amazing gay party with the likes of Jason Preston and 12 Pack. 

So if I had to define it... my strategy has been to only hit the hottest parties, have fun and make sure everyone else is having the time of their lives too. My marketing job then started to seem secondary as the best parties in the city started paying me to host and promote their events.  The next thing you know, I've landed an amazing job doing marketing with Grammy award winning DJ Peter Rauhofer at Star 69 records.

After the break, you can come along on my Adventures in Clubland and see what went down in my life last week.

Continue reading "Follow Me..." »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

By Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com].

Friends, there are a plethora of things in this world that make us all a little "uncomfortable" at times. For some it may be black people, Jews, and midgets. For others, it may be unwed mothers, homosexual couples, and/or the cast of The Jersey Shore. To each, his or her own. Mine, however, is almost unspeakable; the words should not even be spoken without a crowbar in your hand dripping with the blood of a faggot, but I will rise above this fact for the sake of this article.

Continue reading "New York drag queen denounces transsexuality" »

Posted by Shealita Babay at 06:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

 [DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

Oh, what a week it has been! It is clear to me that the Dark Lord Satan was trying to get his last laughs in before 2009 came to an end. Rush Limbaugh was rushed to the hospital, the Holy Prophet Rick Warren's Mega Church almost faced bankruptcy, and the Jews have attacked the memory of courageous, former Pope Pius XII. To top it all off, some Republicans are speaking out against Uganda's blessed Anti-Gay Bill, while New Hampshire flies under the radar and has begun to allow unnatural marriage! My Children, we are living in times of great stress, but I remind you that these are tests of the Good Lord. We must bask in his great wisdom and react the same way He would in this situation: with immense fury. Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition

Continue reading "America is the new Sodom and Gomorra" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

By Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

My fellow God-fearing Americans, we are under attack! I don’t mean by those filthy camel jockey sand sucking wrong God praising Muslims, and I’m not talking about those land stealing Jew terrorists. I’m speaking of the homosexuals and their armies of Liberal Left extremist devil worshippers. Our rights are being taken away one by one everyday. The taxes from these godless democrats are going through the roof. But there is some good news coming out of this week, that fag enabler Brittany Murphy was found dead after her insatiable hunger for pharmy drugs finally became slate. Also a terrorist bomber was stopped by the good guidance of Baby Jesus. This week was looking up, until I was visually held down and raped.

Continue reading "Shealita Babay says she was "verbally and visually raped" by homosexuals" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

By Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, and no I’m not talking about Aids Day.

It’s Christmas! It’s that special time of the year where we gather with our families, drink eggnog, give gifts, and celebrate the birth of our Lord.

One of my personal favorite parts of this holiday is going to neighboring Jew villages and singing Christmas Carols in German, though nothing beats giving gifts to the less fortunate during this lovely time; like the blacks.

My gift to you homos this Christmas is going to be my Holiday Ask Shealita: Advice Column. I knowww I knowww, you’re probably saying “but Shealita, All I want for Christmas is my T-Cells Back” well I can’t perform miracles, even though AIDS is a Miracle from the Lord Almighty.

Continue reading "Holiday Ask Shealita: Advice Column" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

WARNING: Special notice from the Editorial Board at GaySocialites.com-
[The GaySocialites.com Editorial Board would like to let you know that we took special consideration into whether to publish this piece by Shealita Babay.  After editing some of the language, we decided to publish it.  Shealita's method of delivery might be startling, but the message within falls in our favor if you really think about what you are reading and how it is worded.]

Continue reading "Shealita Babay says "Uganda's got the right idea"" »

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SUNDAY TUESDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com!

[Editor's note: Shealita's gospel is normally run on Wednesday, but it was bumped this week due to Glammy coverage on Sunday night.   I'm sure she loves that!]

This week has been another ferocious step toward what Sean Hannity, of Fox News fame, calls “Conservative Victory 2010”. The sanctity of marriage has been saved once again, this time in the great state of New York. This isn’t the first state to be saved from the evil grasps of homosexuality, but its one of the best examples of true Americans. New York is the center of the universe, and the world realizes that the faggots don’t run this universe. Children we must rejoice in this victory for it is the reality check that these homos need.

Continue reading "Controversial Drag Queen Shealita Babay on "Conservative Victory 2010"" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

What happened to the good ole glory days of America?

Continue reading "Controversial drag queen, Shealita Babay, on Adam Lambert's AMA performance" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com] 

Children, I wanted this Sunday's sermon to be a bit of a blast from the past for me as well as some of the people reading this highly informative column that shows the innards of the Extreme Left Liberal Faggotry of America.

It’s a little segment I like to call Ask Shealita, its where I ask the Average American (all walks of life, color, and belief) to send me their comments, or questions they’d like me to answer in a way a good Christian would respond to.

I’m planning on doing a regular Ask Shealita every last Sunday of the Month, send your questions to shealita@gaysocialites.com you can also use this email to send me your hate mail if you find what I have to say so offends you. Whether it be about your lack of T-Cells or the mere fact you’re a disgusting feces eating faggot.

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]  

[Photo by Eric Halliwell, eric@gaysocialites.com]

Continue reading "Dive into the controversy... Ask Shealita!" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

By Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com] 

Hello everybody. My name is Shealita Babay and I am appalled with this country.

Continue reading "Controversial drag queen Shealita Babay reflects on the recent elections" »

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY
By guest Reverend Charles Winters

[Editor's note:  This week's Sunday Gospel sermon will be delivered by Reverend Charles Winters, Universal Life Church.  Evidently Shelita Babay went on a binge over the weekend and is thus MIA on the Lord's Day.  Tsk. Tsk!]

As fill in pastor at Shealita's church on the web, I would like to spread a message of love and hope.  I know Shealita uses this as a corner to instill the fear of the Lord Almighty and share her message of hate, bigotry and racism.

The message is clear.  God loves everyone 

The Bible even says so.  1 John 4:7 reads, "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."

Whether you're gay, straight, white, black; God loves you.  We have all sinned, and we shouldn't judge one another.

We should want what is best for each other rather than breaking each other down.

In conclusion, Shealita is going to die when she reads this message of love and hope... if she didn't overdose this weekend.  We still aren't sure.  No one has heard from her.  She's resurface, she always does... and this will teach the bitch to miss her deadline again.

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SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

Hello my name is Shealita Babay, and I am an American. I remember a time in my life when saying “I am an American.” meant something. I remember when this great country used to be the hot shit on the block that no one fucked with. We used to have reliable cars and have goods to export out. Now the Ching Chong China Man rules the land of auto-industry and the only goods America exports is Obesity and Autism. I know I am not alone when I go to the local market looking to purchase some wares and become enraged to see that the said item I wanted is made in Portugal or Mexico city. What the hell happened to this great country?!   

We have taken God out of America is what happened to this country. Our core values and beliefs are all different now. Once we took the 10 commandments off the walls in a courtroom that’s when hell broke loose throughout the land. Women were raped, babies were ripped out of uteruses an stomped on the ground by Lesbians, villages were burned to the ground, Evolution was the new way of thinking and the ACLU slaughtered the Christians by the masses. We as a Christian nation need to rise up and over throw these fag laws, and build this country back up to its glory days! The nerve of this country to tell me that I must respect a homosexual and his “right” to pound another man in the anus is ridiculous! John Wayne didn’t take it on the chin like this, and neither will I anymore.

The nerve of this country telling me what I have to believe in and tolerate. You have no right to tell me how to think, so Liberal Fag American you can suck my taint. I am sick and tired of hearing about some Jew crying over their local school celebrating Christmas. If you Jews didn’t kill Jesus in the first place we wouldn’t be having this discussion, so why don’t you just go back to Aushwitz and make some lampshades!  As for you Abortion loving Lesbians, I hope ur coat hanger hits an artery and you bleed to death. I am pro-life we must protect all life in the uterus and also it aint abortion if my daughter trips on my foot down the stairs after she comes home thinkin she can tell me she’s marrying a black man and going to birth me a colored baby can u imagine the scourge I will have to endure at church, all them eyes on me while I walk to my pew with them just thinking “Oh there goes the grandmother with the black grandchild” Can you believe the nerve of that girl coming into my house and trying to tell me whats what?! Not in my house.

With Love,
Shealita Babay

[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical.  Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]

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