Shealita Babay says "Uganda's got the right idea"
SUNDAY GOSPEL WITH SHEALITA BABAY
[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical. Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]
WARNING: Special notice from the Editorial Board at GaySocialites.com-
[The GaySocialites.com Editorial Board would like to let you know that we took special consideration into whether to publish this piece by Shealita Babay. After editing some of the language, we decided to publish it. Shealita's method of delivery might be startling, but the message within falls in our favor if you really think about what you are reading and how it is worded.]
[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical. Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]
by Shealita Babay
Friends, I am discouraged to sit here and report that we live in a sick, dark age of time that allows for the most revolting and immoral things to occur: we allow children to be aborted, Gays to be wed, and Jews to live on stolen land! Nothing is sacred anymore. Our morals and values have been destroyed in this new generation’s ignorant quest to be accepted as “normal.” I used to think that we no longer had any truly good people in this world. People like Anita Bryant, Jesse Helms, and Jerry Falwell who were willing to fight back for our country’s morals while they graced this world. These were virtuous people, willing to do anything to battle against debauchery and the immorality of homosexuality.
That was until I heard about Uganda!
And so I declare, “Loosen that noose, that N***ers got something to say!”
I am invigorated to inform you that Uganda is finally stepping up to the plate and doing something about this Homosexual Problem! Now, I’m not a fan of your everyday, pocketbook-snatching porch monkey, but Africa seems to be one of the only places true in this Crusade against the poo-pushers! Its about time Africa gives us something more than AIDS. Those Third World, Colored People finally wised up and listened to a good group of White American Christian men! (It goes without saying that I’m referring to Martin Ssempa, Rick Warren, and the prophet himself, Scott Lively: the men who advocated and funded the Ugandan people to push this Anti-Gay bill.)
Before we get to Uganda, I must confess; Scott Lively is a vessel of God’s love: pure, true and brilliant. His book, “The Pink Swastika” is a fantastic piece of reading that discusses the way in which dirty Homosexuals are a lot like the Nazi’s. Well, think about it! They are trying to take over and DOMINATE the world, but without all the fun things that the Nazi's did like burning Jews in an oven and turning their ashes into lamp shade glass, or raping women and then putting them in a mock shower/gas chamber to watch them drop like a gay man’s t-cells in the 80s. The ladies of my book club and I have unanimously decided that this book is best experienced in the evening with a warm cup of Earle Grey tea, hopefully after a long afternoon filled with fierce gay bashing, preferably with a crowbar.
There are several things in this Anti-Gay Bill that I am beyond pleased about. Firstly, people who are openly homosexual now get imprisoned and put on death row. DEATH ROW!! Glory Days, Halleluyaz! Also, any person who has helped a homosexual person escape imprisonment, or is even kind to one, can be imprisoned as well for aiding and abiding the aforementioned Criminal Homosexual. Ugh! I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but why can’t America be more like Africa…. Well, maybe not with as many black people, but the way they‘ve been so easily influenced by our own Crusaders of The Lord is just fantastic! We would finally have a law that would have those filthy faggots jailed and executed. And, let’s not forget that anyone who helped or knew a homosexual would be jailed as well. That’d finally shut those loud-mouth PFLAG Parents up for good. We’d see who’s proud of their gay son/daughter then! I swear, if I have to hear Mrs. Sheppard speaking about her dumb dead gay son at another university, I’ll lose it!
The best part about this whole Anti-Gay movement that Uganda is pushing forward is that the average American Faggot has no idea that it’s even going on! The American Fag is too preoccupied with Lady Gaga’s outfits, or is too busy crying over not being able to get married, that they don’t even know they are being killed off. Oh, how this pleases my heart! Just as so many Jews were wiped out from their own ignorance, soon the Lord’s work will be spread upon the homosexual race. What Would Jesus Do, you may ask? Well, he’d support this Anti-Gay Bill.
With Everlasting Love,
Shealita Babay
[DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be satirical. Still, the view points reflected here are NOT REPRESENTATIVE of GaySocialites.com, Charles Winters & Associates or anyone employed or associated with CWA or any of its subsidiaries. Please send your hate mail to shealita@gaysocialites.com]
Comments
oh...holy...shit...no...she...didn't
Posted by: Anonymous | December 13, 2009 10:52 PM
Amen!
Posted by: Miss Understood | December 14, 2009 01:44 AM
I truly get the message, but is the crudeness so necessary?
Posted by: Anonymous | December 14, 2009 01:59 AM
Oh Jesus.
Posted by: Anonymous | December 14, 2009 02:11 AM
yes it does need to be so crude "MISS UNDERSTOOD" maybe if some people see the ignorance in this light they will fight the devastation that is occurring. Satire is Satire, and bringing to light horrible destruction through destructive words is an art, Something Miss Shealita does well, opens your eyes,
PRAISE JEEBUS!!!
Posted by: Rachel Carter | December 14, 2009 03:52 PM
Sometimes it IS absolutely necessary to be hard, harsh, blunt, crude, crass, offensive and coat very serious issues in a language our true opponents continuously resort to.
Shealita BaBay is a true genius, and, even if one cannot appreciate her brand of humour, one cannot deny she is a genuine craftswoman when it comes to words.
I worship the ground she walks on and think her brand of humour does more to raise awareness on some really bad problems in and on the LGBT-community than all the wishy-washy politically "correct" bullshitters we seem to be surrounded with. It is this kind of vile language that holds mirrors up to our very faces. It would be more interesting to find out why you guys have such a problem with Shealita BaBay and spend a bit more time on a bit of serious self-criticism, rather than slag her off.
Bye Marys... get over yourselves... and... enjoy the anarchy.
John "the Jane".
Posted by: John | December 14, 2009 04:12 PM
I usually come on here to find out who has a new song, or whether or not there is any news in the gay community, but I can't believe I had to eat this shit sandwich.
I am a young black gay man living with HIV in LA. I don't know where to begin. Let me start by informing all of you that prejudice and hate disguised as humor, satire, or shock is still hate. This entire post could have been better expressed by;
"Poo Poo, Pee Pee, Bum Bum, Fart, Tinkle;
Stop prosecuting Gays in Uganda"
At least that would have expressed the juvenile aspect of this clown. Instead we had to trudge through the indignity of the racist remarks and shock value "satire". When I was growing up in Boston there was a clown named "Willie Whistle", instead of speaking he made whistle sounds. I always hated his act. I wish Shealita would spare us and the world her comedy so I could be less annoyed by another asshole in a clown suit making sounds as unoffensive as deafening whistles.- Mark
PS. Kissing an African American as your avatar doesn't make you open minded.
Posted by: Mark | December 14, 2009 04:14 PM
Mark you sound hot...cut or uncut?
Posted by: Anonymous | December 14, 2009 04:16 PM
8 in uncut, smooth body. get back to me anonymous.
Posted by: Mark | December 14, 2009 04:23 PM
I'm in the Seattle area, where are you?
Posted by: Anonymous | December 14, 2009 04:25 PM
Sometimes you learn more about the way a thing breaks than the way it is made...or you are unable to be put it back together.
If you can put it back together then it was valuable...if you can't....maybe broken is the best way to go.
Kierkegaard wrote a book called Repetition. If something is sound enough in reason then breaking it will only result in its being rebuilt in a similar way. If you are afraid of challenging your own thoughts then your ideology is flawed not only in your practice but in your soul.
Shealita Breaks things...if you are afraid of her and connot reconstruct your own Ideology...question yourself.
-Avalon
Posted by: Avalon | December 14, 2009 04:41 PM
Avalon this is dangerous. Thats like saying if your house burns down... you didn't have enough water. Or you weren't clever enough to rebuild it from ash.
I get this Idea than there are arguments from within...but there are also attacks from without. I get that a community should be diligent...but at the same time it should not be over run by violence seekers.
Posted by: Hades | December 14, 2009 05:05 PM
Thumbs up. I am a firm believer that satire is an excellent tool to point out oppression from a literary standpoint.
I guess I'm just having a difficult time wrestling with the idea that Shealita can take off the makeup, and the wig, and go back to being Shealita. For her, her privilege is that she can point out these injustices through satire.
For a black, gay man in America, or Uganda, he cannot 'take off his wig, or wipe off his makeup' and therefore, I can see where this is offensive.
This post however brought about one thing, discussion. That's more than A LOT of people can say. Shealita's wit and humor is unmatched. I do not see her as a clown, I see her at times as a genius.
Posted by: Jane Lane | December 14, 2009 06:12 PM
Soldiers die for your comedy!
Posted by: Anonymous | December 14, 2009 08:01 PM
this deserved a hundred comments. best article yet!
love the political edge. you're very smart!
Posted by: Anonymous | December 16, 2009 10:55 PM
Shealita is a hypocrite. She's kissing that black queen...
Posted by: Anonymous | December 24, 2009 02:11 PM
I agree with the above post. Personally I cannot see why you would not want to make an effort in this regard anyway. Only the other day, at work we had exactly the same conversation and came to a similar decision
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