I never thought I would be reporting this news, but "American Idol" loser Clay Aiken is a father!

You don't worry about gay adoption issues when you're famous! Instead - Aiken donated sperm to knock up his friend Jaymes Foster, a record producer whom he met while performing on "American Idol."

Clay announced the birth of Parker Foster Aiken on his Web site's blog earlier today. Notice how he named his kid after my dog (coincidence? I think not!)

"No hyphens. One first name," he wrote. "One middle name. One last name." You got it girl! Don't mess up Clay's baby's name!

"The little man is healthy, happy, and as loud as his daddy," Aiken wrote. "Mama Jaymes is doing quite well also."

Clay's mom confirmed that the baby was born in North Carolina.

Congrats to the already disfunctional family. Clay Aiken could totally be the new Michael Jackson, btdubs - I'm just saying!